you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
