So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
