i would punch a child for taco bell
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
