i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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