I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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