I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
