And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
