Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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