Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
