Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize