At least make sure they are 18
Why
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
