I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize