someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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