My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
