New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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