we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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