Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
