my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
