no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Randomize
