Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
