My balls are so social today.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
