I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Randomize
