Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
