they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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