Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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