Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
time to smoke my breakfast
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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