your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
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so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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