as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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