I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
