could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
