Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
