Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
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I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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