is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
