Kiss
Puke
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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