I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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