Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
