How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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