from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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