I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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