38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize