the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
