I can't watch pbs sober anymore
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
