I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I looked at my own cervix.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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