if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like heaven, but drunker
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize