Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
