Kiss
Puke
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
