wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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