hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize