threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
