3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
accomplished twins. life is a go
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
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