Lets date for the summer
Dont love me in September.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...