yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I can't put those talents on a resume
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.