3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
