did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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