I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
soo... how was my night?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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