It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
