She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
