I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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