just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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