Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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