Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
