Can Purell be used as lube?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
