K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
